Understanding Emotional Triggers – Part 2: How to Heal, Grow, and Reclaim Your Power

Pause and listen — healing starts there.

In Part 1, we explored what emotional triggers are and why they feel so intense — how they’re shaped by past experiences, held in the body, and rooted in your nervous system’s efforts to keep you safe.

Now, in Part 2, we’ll explore how to begin healing emotional triggers — not by pushing them away, but by meeting them with awareness, curiosity, and care.

A gentle note before we begin: Not all triggers can (or should) be handled alone. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, disoriented, or emotionally flooded, that’s not a failure — it’s a sign your system needs more support. Some of this work is best done alongside a trained therapist or practitioner who can help you stay grounded and safe.

These steps are not a test or a quick fix. They’re invitations. Take what feels right, skip what doesn’t, and remember: even small moments of awareness can begin to create change.

"Pause — it’s where clarity begins."

1. Pause and Notice What’s Happening

When you feel a wave of emotion — a rush of panic, irritation, shame, or the urge to withdraw — try to pause and name it. Not to fix it. Just to notice.

• “I feel a tightness in my chest.”

• “I want to disappear right now.”

• “I feel like I’m back in something old.”

Even just five seconds of noticing can help calm the amygdala — the brain’s alarm system — and bring your prefrontal cortex (your thinking, reasoning brain) back online. That small moment of awareness is not small at all — it’s the beginning of change.

Sometimes you’ll be able to pause, ground, or tap while you’re being triggered — and that can be powerful. But often, the moment passes before you even realise what’s happened.

That’s okay.

Looking back later — once you’ve settled — can be just as valuable. You might gently ask:

• “What just happened?”

• “What did I feel?”

• “What story was I telling myself?”

  
  

Reflective insight often leads to deeper change — and sometimes, it’s the safest way to begin.

If you’d like support exploring your triggers — whether it’s in the moment or gently reflecting afterwards — I offer a safe, grounded space where healing can begin. 👉 [Work With Me]

"Where awareness begins to take shape."

2. Ask Yourself: What Does This Remind Me Of?

If it feels safe, you might gently explore whether this feeling is familiar. Is it touching something from long ago?

• “Have I felt like this before?”

• “Does this remind me of a time I felt unsafe, left out, ignored, or criticised?”

• “Is there a belief showing up here — like ‘I’m not good enough’ or ‘I’m about to be rejected’?”

You don’t need to go digging. And if the emotion feels too much — pause. That’s wisdom, not weakness. Some work is meant to be held in a safe space with someone trained to support you.

Even a flicker of recognition can bring relief.

"The roles we play to feel safe."

3. Notice the Role You Step Into

Sometimes, when you’re triggered, you slip into a familiar role — almost without realising. You might become the one who:

• Apologises even when you’re unsure what you’ve done

• Tries to smooth things over

• Goes silent, freezes, or over-explains

• Over-functions or over-gives to restore peace

These roles are survival strategies. You may have learned them early to avoid conflict, keep others calm, or stay safe.

You might ask:

“What part of me is active right now?” Is it the pleaser? The scared child? The fixer?

Naming it doesn’t mean rejecting it — it simply brings awareness.And awareness gives you choice.

“Your body holds wisdom — it remembers, it responds, it can also heal.”

4. Come Back to Your Body – A Key Step in Healing Emotional Triggers

Triggers often disconnect you from the present moment. The body tenses. Breath shortens. Thoughts race or go blank.

Before trying to understand anything, reconnect to now.

Try:

• Pressing your feet into the ground

• Placing a hand on your chest and feeling your breath

• Looking around the room and naming 5 things you see

• Gently tapping on your collarbone or the side of your hand

These grounding tools help regulate the nervous system and support what’s known in Polyvagal Theory as your ventral vagal state — the place where calm, connection, and presence live.

You’re not trying to erase the trigger. You’re helping your body remember: this moment is different.

"Self-soothing isn’t about fixing—it’s about softening."

5. Soothe Yourself with Compassionate Words (and Tapping)

When you’re triggered, self-criticism often follows.

• “I should be over this.”

• “I’m too sensitive.”

• “Why can’t I cope like other people?”

But shame never healed anyone.

Try this instead:

• “This makes sense — it’s an old pattern trying to protect me.”

• “I’m allowed to feel this.”

• “It’s okay to not have all the answers right now.”

You can gently tap on acupressure points while saying these phrases — part of a technique called EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques). Studies have shown EFT can significantly reduce anxiety, trauma symptoms, and even cortisol levels — making it a powerful, research-backed tool for calming emotional intensity.

Even a few minutes of compassionate tapping can bring relief.

“You won’t always react the same way.

6. You Won’t Always React This Way — And That’s Hope, Not Pressure

Some say we can only learn to live with our triggers — that they’ll always be there in some form. And for some people, managing triggers brings real progress and peace.

But I’ve seen something else, too.

I’ve worked with clients whose phobias, trauma responses, or overwhelming emotional triggers no longer control them — because we worked with the root. The intensity faded. The charge lifted. Sometimes the trigger disappeared entirely.

That doesn’t mean every reaction can be erased, or that it’s always quick. But it does mean transformation is possible — often more than we’re led to believe.

There’s value in learning to cope. And there’s also value in knowing you might not have to forever.

A Word on Compassion and Support

If you’ve ever felt ashamed of being triggered — or wondered why you “still” react — please know:

Triggers don’t mean you’re weak. They mean something in you still needs care.

Your reactions are not signs of failure. They are parts of you still holding pain, still seeking safety.

Healing doesn’t mean pushing through on your own. For some, especially where trauma runs deep, support isn’t just helpful — it’s essential. Having someone walk alongside you, hold space, and guide you safely through the layers makes a world of difference.

You’re allowed to take this slowly. You’re allowed to need help. And you’re allowed to believe that things can change.

True healing of emotional triggers isn’t about willpower — it’s about working gently, consistently, and with the right kind of support.

If you’re ready to explore your triggers in a supported, compassionate way, I invite you to take a look at how we can work together. 👉 [Work With Me]

A short tapping video to support this post is coming soon — but you don’t need to wait. Start by simply noticing your own responses with gentle curiosity.