How Do You Know If You’re Really Being Yourself?

A quiet moment. A question stirring beneath the surface: Who am I, really?

Understanding authenticity when you’ve spent a lifetime adapting.

“Who am I?”

It’s such a simple question—but one that can feel uncomfortable, confusing, or even impossible to answer.

When you’ve spent years adapting—shaped by family expectations, cultural roles, people-pleasing, or the need to avoid conflict—it’s easy to lose touch with your authentic self.

And then, one day, something inside begins to whisper:“Am I really being me—or just who I’ve learned to be?”

Why Authenticity Can Feel So Unclear

Most of us don’t even realise we’ve been performing. We do what’s expected. We keep things together. We make sure others are okay.

It works—for a while.

But eventually, something feels off. A quiet restlessness. A sense that you’re going through the motions. Or maybe just a deep tiredness that’s hard to explain.

That discomfort is often the first sign that something deeper is stirring: a longing to reconnect with your true self.

The Roles We Learn to Play

We’re all shaped by what we grow up around.

Family dynamics, religious values, school rules, and social expectations all influence how we learn to behave—and who we think we have to be to be loved or safe.

You may have learned to stay small, agreeable, helpful, capable. You may have been the one who held it all together, the one who didn’t make a fuss.

Over time, those traits become part of your identity—or at least what you believe your identity is.

But are they really you?

What Does It Mean to Be Your Authentic Self?

Being authentic doesn’t mean being blunt, bold, or dramatic. It’s not about expressing everything all the time.

According to psychologist Michael Kernis, authenticity involves more than just being “real”—it’s about knowing yourself, accepting what you find, and behaving in ways that align with your values (Kernis & Goldman, 2006).

In everyday life, authenticity is about inner alignment.

It’s when your values, feelings, and actions are in sync. When what’s happening inside you is reflected in how you show up. When you feel less like you’re performing—and more like you’re simply being.

Signs You’re Not Being Authentic

You may not even realise how far you’ve drifted from your real self—until your body or emotions start speaking up.

Here are some common signs you’re not living in alignment with your true self:

• You say yes when you want to say no

• You feel tired, flat, resentful—or like something is “off”

• You try to keep everyone happy but feel disconnected

• You worry more about others’ opinions than your own inner truth

• You wonder if people would still like you if they saw the real you

  
  

These are not failures. They’re invitations to notice. To begin returning to yourself.

Rebuilding Self-Trust and Authenticity

You don’t have to have all the answers.

Coming back to your authentic self starts with small moments of honesty:

• That uncomfortable pause before saying yes

• The gentle “no” you’ve been afraid to say

• The tightness in your chest when something feels wrong

  
  

Rebuilding self-trust means listening to those moments. Trusting that your feelings matter. Choosing what’s true for you—even when it’s unfamiliar.

What Authenticity Feels Like

It’s not perfection. It’s not certainty. It’s not a fixed personality.

Authenticity feels like:

• Less inner conflict

• More ease in your body

• Saying what you mean (even gently)

• A quiet confidence that says: “I don’t need to prove anything.”

• Feeling like you’ve stopped trying so hard just to be accepted

  
  

It’s coming home to yourself—one moment at a time.

Final Thought: You’re Not Lost—You’re Coming Home

The journey back to your authentic self doesn’t happen overnight. But it does begin the moment you ask: “Who am I, really?”

And if something in you is ready for more—more truth, more ease, more you—you’re not alone.

This is the work I do. Gently, with compassion. At your pace. You were never broken. Just hidden.

And you can find your way back.

🌿 Ready to Begin Your Journey?

If this blog resonated with you, and you’re ready to reconnect with yourself and rebuild self-trust—I’d love to support you.

👉 Sign up for my Monthly Newsletter – for insights, tools, and real talk about being your true self and get your free guide on 5 Steps to Reclaim Your True Self.

👉 Explore my therapy packages – online sessions tailored to women who are ready to stop people-pleasing and start living more truthfully

👉 Book a free consultation – let’s talk about where you are and what support might help

With warmth,

Jane Nevell

True Life Tapping