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How Therapy Works – and What Working With Me Looks Like
- Jane Nevell
- May 29
- 7 min read
Reaching out for therapy can feel like a big step.
You may have been trying to manage things on your own for a long time.
Pushing through.
Putting things aside.
Trying to stay strong.
Or quietly hoping things will feel easier with time.
By the time someone reaches out, they’ve often been carrying a lot for quite a while and doing the best they can in the familiar ways they’ve learned to cope.
Part of what matters to me in this work is helping make sense of things together.
My goal is to support you on this journey—to come alongside you, guide you where needed, and help you make sense of yourself with compassion and care.
How I approach therapy
I blend counselling with EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) and Matrix Reimprinting.
A commonly used metaphor in my work is understanding a problem like a table. The issue itself is the tabletop. And the things holding it in place are the legs underneath.
Those legs may include:
specific events or experiences
beliefs formed along the way
emotional responses
thoughts
behaviours or coping patterns
body reactions
or situations happening in the present
For example, the tabletop may be: “I feel anxious going to work.”
Then together we begin exploring what may be holding that anxiety in place.
That could be:
an angry boss
feeling unsupported
fear of making mistakes
tension with a colleague
dreading supervision
over-preparing
staying quiet when something needs saying
Each leg can then have its own parts underneath too.
So the angry boss may become another tabletop.
Underneath that may be things like:
a parent with angry outbursts
a time you made a mistake and were shouted at by your teacher
feelings of injustice
fear around anger or conflict
staying quiet to avoid making things worse
staying late to finish work so nothing gets picked up
These are just examples and they’ll look different for everyone.
But often one issue can have several parts connected to it. This is why working on one area can begin easing other parts of life too., because there will likely be overlaps, for example:
A pattern at work may feel linked to conflict at home.
People-pleasing in one relationship may feel familiar in another.
A belief formed years ago may still show up in different situations without you fully realising it.
Once we’ve explored what may be connected and decided where to begin, we give that aspect of the problem a score for intensity—usually from 1 (barely there) to 10 (the strongest it could feel).
This helps us monitor progress and revisit how it feels as we work.
Then we use tapping and gentle attention to begin clearing that aspect to a more manageable level.
From there we continue building on what becomes clearer as we go.
What I value about this approach is that it brings together body, emotions and thinking.
It helps slow things down enough to notice what’s happening more clearly.
To become curious.
To understand yourself more fully.
And where needed, begin working towards change.
Alongside this, where it feels appropriate, I may also use Matrix Reimprinting. This is a way of gently working with earlier memories using guided visualisation and EFT together. A simple way to think of this is allowing your present-day self to be there with a younger part of you connected to that experience. Using tapping throughout, this can help reduce the emotional intensity around what happened and create more space to process the emotions connected to the memory.
This doesn’t change what happened.
And it isn’t about pretending something was okay when it wasn’t.
The memory is still there.
But the emotional charge around it can begin to soften.
Sometimes noticeably.
Sometimes gradually.
And sometimes it may feel like what once felt overwhelming no longer carries the same emotional weight—or the charge has gone completely.
That can create more space to see what happened with greater clarity, understand the core belief that may have formed at the time and begin shifting that belief towards something more supportive.
As that old belief begins to change, it can start to affect your present-day life differently too. Something that once felt painful, restrictive or overwhelming may no longer feel as though it has the same hold over you now.
Matrix Reimprinting isn’t always needed when working with memories, as we can also use EFT on its own.
And we would only use Matrix Reimprinting if it feels relevant and you feel okay to do so.
Alongside this, we may begin noticing how some patterns were shaped much earlier in life.
During our earlier years we learn about ourselves and the world around us.
What feels safe.
What feels risky.
What feels expected.
And often beliefs begin to form around those experiences. At the time they often made complete sense.
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For example, if you grew up around an angry parent, you may never have fully relaxed around them. You learned to stay alert—watching for changes in mood, tone or tension. You may have kept quiet, stayed compliant or tried not to draw attention to yourself as a way of protecting yourself and staying safe.
Over time, experiences like this can begin to shape your beliefs, thoughts, emotions and behaviours. You may start to believe you need to stay small, keep the peace or work hard to avoid upsetting others.
Fast forward 30, 40 or 50 years, and some of those patterns may still show up automatically—even though the original environment has long since changed. But over time some of those same patterns can begin causing difficulties.
A belief that once felt protective can later feel exhausting, restrictive, painful, or keep you stuck in ways that no longer feel right for you.
...
So this is the general framework I hold in mind while we work together. Using the table metaphor, we keep exploring and clearing the legs holding the problem in place.
As those legs begin to lose their emotional charge, the issue itself often begins to feel different too.
Sometimes that feels gradual.
Sometimes a shift feels more noticeable.
Using the earlier example, someone who felt their anxiety about going to work was a 10 may notice it reducing to a 2.
Or they may notice they feel calmer around a particular colleague.
More able to speak up.
Less reactive.
Or clearer about what they need.
Everyone’s experience is different.
Some things can feel easier sooner than expected.
Other patterns can take more time—especially when they’ve been around for years or feel more layered.
My role is to hold the framework, guide the process, and help notice what may be keeping something in place.
Your role is simply to notice what feels important for you as we go.
What you feel.
What you notice.
What thoughts or memories come up.
And together we work with what’s there, one step at a time.
Working towards meaningful change in a way that feels manageable, thoughtful and supportive for you.
Getting started
People reach out to me in different ways.
That may be through my website contact form or through one of my social platforms—Facebook, Pinterest or Substack.
From there I’ll send you a booking link so you can arrange a free 30-minute telephone consultation at a time that suits you.
This consultation is a chance for us to talk things through.
For you to share a little about what’s bringing you here.
Ask any questions you may have.
And get a feel for whether working together feels like a good fit.
There’s absolutely no pressure.
You don’t need to make any decisions on the call.
I encourage people to take their time and have a think afterwards.
After our call, I’ll send you a brief overview of what we discussed, along with the current session fees and package options.
If you decide you’d like to go ahead, just let me know which option feels right for you.
From there I’ll send over the intake forms and invoice.
Once those are returned and payment has been received, I’ll send you a booking link so you can arrange your sessions.
All therapy sessions are online via Zoom.
Your sessions
Once your appointment is booked, you’ll receive your Zoom link and a reminder the day before the session.
I ask that you have a private space where you feel comfortable and won’t be overheard.
A drink of water nearby can be helpful and tissues too, just in case. Sometimes sessions can feel emotional. Sometimes they don’t. Both are okay.
We usually work with the camera on where possible, as this helps me stay attuned to you and notice any changes as we go.
There may be past events you don’t want to talk through in detail—or at all. That’s completely okay too. We can still work with what you’re noticing: how something feels emotionally, what’s happening in your body or what feels activated, without needing to talk through more than feels right for you.
You don’t need to prepare anything before a session. You don’t need to know what to say or work out where to begin. I’ll guide the process and help us find a starting point together.
Where it feels helpful, I may also offer support between sessions:
That may be a guided tapping audio to use in your own time.
A simple EFT script.
Or helping you create your own if you feel confident to do that.
My hope is not only that you feel supported in session, but that over time you begin building more trust in yourself and feel more confident using tools you learn from our sessions that support you day to day.
If you’re curious about EFT tapping and Matrix Reimprinting and would like to understand a little more, you can read more in my blog: How EFT and Matrix Reimprinting Can Help You Rediscover Your True Self.
If what I’ve shared here feels like the kind of support you’ve been looking for, you’re welcome to get in touch. We can begin with a conversation and take it from there. And if I feel I’m not the right fit for what you need, I’ll always let you know.
If you’d like to keep reading, you’re also welcome to subscribe for free to my Substack. When you subscribe, you’ll also receive access to my gentle guide to EFT tapping and my workbook, Making Sense of Me.
And if something in this resonated with you, you’re welcome to explore further:
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