Beyond the Buzzwords: The Truth About Being Authentic

"It’s not about becoming someone else. It’s about gently removing what’s not really you."

Everywhere you look, someone’s telling you to “be your authentic self” or “live your truth.” It’s become the go-to slogan in self-help spaces, wellness posts, and shiny life coaching captions.

But when everyone’s saying the same thing, the meaning starts to blur. It risks becoming another performance. Another expectation. Another version of “not quite good enough unless…”

What does it really mean to live your true life — especially when you’ve spent years (maybe decades) being who others needed you to be?

That’s what I want to talk about. Not the Instagram version — the real version. The messy, uncomfortable, empowering truth of stopping autopilot and starting to live from who you actually are.

There’s so much talk about authenticity. Speak your truth. Use your voice. Be real.

But how do we know if the version we’re calling “authentic” is truly ours?

Real authenticity isn’t just expression — it’s self-awareness. It’s not shaped by trends or praise. It’s not dictated by culture, conditioning, or approval.

And that’s the trouble.

It’s incredibly hard — maybe even impossible — to untangle ourselves completely from our upbringing, beliefs, religion, gender, race, politics, or survival strategies.

We’re layered.

So what we call our “authentic self” might just be the version that feels safest. Or most accepted.

Without unpacking, without awareness, we can end up performing what we think is real — while still wearing filters we don’t know we have.

These filters — shaped by trauma, roles, and early life — affect how we see the world, and how we see ourselves.

That’s why “my truth” isn’t always the truth. It’s one version — shaped by lived experience. Real, yes. But not always clear, balanced, or complete.

There’s no shame in that. We’re human, doing the best we can with what we know. But sometimes, just knowing our view is filtered can be enough to gently adjust the sails.

This blog isn’t here to criticise. It’s here to challenge. To invite you to reflect on the identity you’ve built — and the stories you’re living.

Here’s something to sit with: Who are you, really? You’re a memory in the minds of everyone who’s ever met you. And each of them likely sees you differently than you see yourself.

And yes — authenticity is at the heart of what I do. It’s right there in the name: True Life Tapping. Because when we get honest with ourselves — not polished, not perfect, just honest — something powerful shifts.

We begin to connect. Not just with others, but with ourselves.

Every relationship you have starts with the one you hold with you.

So I ask:

• Do you like you?

• Do you care about you?

• Do you support yourself the way you support others?

• Are you a good friend to you — your inner voice?

If the answer’s no — or I’m not sure — that’s okay. This work isn’t about blame. It’s about awareness. And that’s where reconnection begins.

So how do you know if you’re really being you?

How can you tell the difference between a grounded truth and a reaction — a coping mechanism dressed as confidence, or a defence wrapped up in “this is just who I am”?

It’s not always clear. Sometimes we’re overcompensating — pushing back so hard against our past that our actions become reactions, not choices.

And that’s human too.

But real change — the kind that frees you — doesn’t come from posturing. It comes from a quieter place. Often from a whisper:

I don’t like that. That didn’t feel good. I don’t want to live like this anymore.

You might not know who the “real you” is yet. But noticing what isn’t right — that’s a beginning.

To be authentic, you have to be open. Because a lot of what we call truth is filtered through pain, protection, and pattern.

Ask:

• What if there’s another way of being?

• What if I’m wrong?

• What if they’re wrong?

• What if we’re both just… not quite right?

  
  

That inner compass — your sense of what’s right or wrong — might be overloaded.

Especially if you’ve spent years pleasing, silencing, or adapting.

So start small. And above all, Don’t confuse realness with rudeness.

Because authenticity isn’t a licence to bulldoze. It doesn’t mean “say no” without care, or “speak your truth” like it’s a sword.

There’s a fine line between self-expression and self-righteousness. And we see that line crossed often — in relationships, coaching spaces, and political debates.

So how do we find balance?

We pause. We reflect. We ask: Is this helpful? Is it kind? Is it true for me — and respectful of others?

Authenticity with humility is powerful. Without it, we risk turning truth into theatre.

And let’s be clear — this doesn’t mean tippy-toeing. You are not responsible for how someone else chooses to react. Offence is often about their lens, not your intention.

You have a right to be who you are. But that right doesn’t erase responsibility.

What I see often is people treating their emotion as evidence — sharing their feelings as though they are unshakable truth. And sometimes they are. But sometimes, they’re just unexamined habits dressed as clarity.

I hear this a lot: “Just say no. No is a complete sentence.” Yes — sometimes. But not always.

Sometimes, it’s not what you say — it’s how you say it.

If bluntness is your go-to… If boundaries always create conflict… If expressing your truth regularly hurts others… It might be time to pause.

That doesn’t mean you’re wrong — it means you’re growing. Because the strongest form of authenticity isn’t loud — it’s honest.

So maybe the real work isn’t about being tougher or more “real.” Maybe it’s about listening more closely to yourself — beneath the noise, beneath the reactions — and asking:

Is this really mine? Does this reflect who I want to be? Can I express this in a way that honours me and respects others?

Authenticity isn’t a performance. And it isn’t perfection. It’s a process.

Start there. Not with a slogan. But with a question.

If this resonates and you’re starting to question the stories you’ve lived by, you don’t have to figure it all out on your own.

This is the kind of work I support women with — gently untangling the old beliefs, patterns, and versions of self that no longer fit, using EFT, Matrix Reimprinting, and therapeutic conversation.

✨ You don’t have to snap your fingers and suddenly be “authentic.” This isn’t a performance. It’s a slow, steady return — attuned to you.Bit by bit, you’ll feel more at peace with yourself.

If you’re ready to take the next step:

🔹 Book a free consultation to explore whether this work is right for you

🔹 Or sign up to my monthly newsletter and receive your free guide: 5 Steps to Reclaim Your True Self